Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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