We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
