I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
