I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
