Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
