hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
