maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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