then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Hippo gnu deer
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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