how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
