butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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