Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
