Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
