is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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