I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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