I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
