awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just had sex bonerless
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
