the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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