I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
