Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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