What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We are two peas in an std pod
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
