I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
