Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
