i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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