They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
