You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
