I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
