i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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