Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
