I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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