the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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