ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
