He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
