How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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