as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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