quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
