looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
