so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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