I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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