Tell her she can't have a vagina
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
