It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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