my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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