i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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