My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
