Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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