it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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