So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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