his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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