Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize