Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you didnt know i had herpes?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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