I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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