Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
