what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize